things I think while on my bike

Some people do their deep thinking on the toilet, some people exercise, others blaze up but me, I like to ride my bike. When I’m on my bike everything becomes very clear. A lot of my best ideas have come to me while on my bike. Here are some things that I have discoverd on my bike:

I pulled up to a street corner and was waiting for the light to change and one of the Capital Metro riders told me that I have cute ankles and sexy calves. The light changed and I rode off wondering what makes calves sexy or ankles cute. Are ankles and calves the new hot fetish in town? Needless to say, my ankles were upset that they weren’t sexy like my calves and made themselves feel better by putting down my calves all night.

Having a do-to list is great. However losing my to-do list in my messy room, knowing that “clean room” was the first thing on it, is a little counter productive.

I saw a man light is beard on fire outside Slices and Ices once and then get a soft drink thrown in his face. Is that a common occurrence with beards and smokers?
In my human sexuality class someone made a comment trying to justify why some people might not approve of homosexuals. He said “it’s just not clean – not right”. Excuse me, what clean heterosexual sex are you having? There is a reason there are tissues next to a lot of people’s beds.

I miss the Cold War and the space race. At least then our government cared about the youth of America getting an education.

I read somewhere that recycling plants cause a lot of air pollution. Great, we’re damned if we do, and we’re damned if we don’t. When are we going to get organized enough to start taking our trash at the sun?

Riding a bike naked would be gross. Trying to imagine people naked on bicycles is really distracting and should never been while riding a bike in a busy street.
Puppies are cute. When a puppy rolls in its own fecal matter, jumps on your lap, you scream and it gets nervous and pees on the floor – is not so cute. Kittens are cute…

Seeing couples is starting to make me sick. You guys are just kidding yourselves. It’s not going to last – Nothing does. We are all just going to die. He’s just doing everything you want so that you will have sex with him. He’ll get bored. You’ll pretend nothing is wrong. He’s going to cheat on you and then you are going to mess around with his best friend to get back at him. You’ll eventually break up but continue to fuck because we are all just animals looking to get some. But you’ll move on to another person and it will all start all over again.

There is the Snow Cone stand on the drag that is never empty when it’s open. There are always tons to kids and people hanging out having a good time. People it is just corn syrup and ice – what is there to like? It’s just 80 outside – it’s not even that hot yet! The Snow Cone stand is in the parking lot of a pawn shop. Does selling grandma’s jewelry for money to buy an ipod put people in the mood for Snow Cones? I wonder if there is more going on at this Snow Cone stand…

April showers bring May flowers” – True. However these May flowers better be worth it because this rain is making it difficult to get anywhere in time.

I overheard this snooty professor on campus, that I can only assume is in the English department, complaining about how poetry is a dying art and the “kids” don’t appreciate poetry anymore. Hey mister, have you ever heard of Def Jam? Most good lyrics are modern poetry just done through the medium of music. Plus poetry slams are pretty popular – you should have seen the championship. So please, don’t act like us kidscan’t appreciate poetry. We do it a lot more than you think.
I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by
              madness, starving hysterical naked,
       dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn
              looking for an angry fix,
       angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly
              connection to the starry dynamo in the machin-
              ery of night....
I find that I become more daring when I ride alongside someone else. A car can hit one person on a bike but not two. I read somewhere that 1 in every 5 bicyclists get hit by cars. When I’ve already been hit, twice, and if I’m riding with 4 other people I feel like the odds are pretty good it won’t happen again. I think it’s the same in real life. There really is safety in numbers.

I now know why there is a difference between “boy” bike and “girl” bikes. “Girl” bikes have the more slanted bar so that their skirt won’t ride up more than it has to.

Every morning I wake up at 7 to pee. As I go back to my bed I look forward to flipping my pillow over to the cool side knowing that I have another 2 or 4 hours left to sleep. They should just make pillows that are cool on both sides.
I am not a touchy-feely person but I want to be. However, everytime I try to reach out and touch someone, it is awkward and counter productive. Even a simple high-five turns into me slapping someone’s face. I’m a kluts. I’m not graceful in anyway. Everytime someone touches me it get magnified in my mind. I don’t just hold guys’ hands for no reason. Because I have this no touching wall, I think I give the wrong idea to people. Listen buddy, if you invite me up to your place at 3AM you should try to make out with me. I think I’m going to start doing the hello/good bye kiss to help myself get better at making human contact not a big deal.

So I am going to make an overstatement saying that we generally live in a Monday – Friday 9-5 society. However it becomes problematic because everyone is at work while they need to be doing the things that they can only get done between the hours of 9-5. How do people get their errands done?

I don’t think people know when to honk. Everyone seems to have different reasons to do it but there isn’t a universal reason to do. People honking to say hello is one the worst reasons to honk. Honk honk, “hey hey I know you!” No conversation can come from it so why do you do it? Pick up the phone later and call the person and say “hey I saw you today on Guadalupe” or whatever. There just isn’t a reason to do the hey honks. And hey smarty pants drivers, let me tell you a secret – honking at a biker is not a good idea because your horn is loud and can startle the biker to slow down, swerve or fall. This one time a friend of mine honked at me and I looked up to and wave and I ended up hitting a poll.

This girl I know asked me to go give blood with her during the blood drive and I told her I couldn’t because I am Anemic. She turned to me with a concerned look, put her arm on my shoulder and said that she was really sorry to hear that and that if I needed anything that I should just ask. When did anemia become AIDS? People it’s nothing to worry about but I like peanut butter cookies if you want to give me something to make me feel better.

Is it against the law to ride your bike drunk?  – Just curious…
I don’t understand how people just have sex. Really – how do you people do it? I really have no idea how people meet and fall for eachother. What if I meet someone and just want him to be my friend but he thinks we’re dating? However, ideally you want to be friends with the person you date, right? I feel like I’m becoming virginal again where the whole idea of sex with someone new seems foreign.

I feel sorry for guys sometimes. Since we live in a masculine society, women are allowed to show their masculine side while men are not as accepted to show their feminine side. I consider myself to be a feminist but don’t start stereotyping because I am not “man-hating”. The thing is, we should try and correct this social qualm. Men should be encouraged to show their feminine qualities without it being a joke or considered to be homosexual.

I’m all about social equality for both men and women. I think that dating should be 50/50 meaning you pay for a date and then i pay for a date. Why should guys feel the burden of dating? Plus why would you want men to pay for everything – you are just giving them something to hold over you? I can’t remember where I heard this, maybe it was Sex in the City, men use money as power and women use sex. I’m sorry but that sucks for both sides. Guys, women like sex. So if some girl is trying to use sex against you just hold out on her. And Ladies, it’s a different century, you can go to school, get a job and find your own purpose in the world SO you can pay for your date sometimes if you want to go out.
I don’t understand how keys get lost on a regular basis. Every morning I go through the same ritual of searching for my keys but I always find them. My roommate has lost our house key some 20 times (that means somewhere in the city of Austin, most likely near Spider House, there are 20 keys to my apartment) and our mailbox key. The funny thing is that she collects keys. Around our apartment are interestings keys, just not practical ones. I lost our mail key for the first time and Julia was really happy and was like “ha, now we’re even”. How? I lost one key and you’ve lose your keys on a pretty normal basis. I plan on finding it out of spite.

What is it with cars and stop signs. It means STOP, not slow down, keep driving and hit a biker. Listen, I drive but I’m never in that big of a hurry that I will not look both ways and stop. Come on people, some of the rules are there for a reason.

No one looks cool in helmets but I’m okay with people seeing me in my helmet and never having sex again. It’a cool.
Earth day is a funny idea. Why does the Earth need a day? You should love the Earth every day not just one. i dunno, Happy Earth Day – try riding a bike every now and then people, you might get some good ideas.